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About Varied / Student Kali RobinsonMale/United States Group :icontradition-of-art: Tradition-of-Art
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Holding on to my Gun (A meditation on black masculinity)

I’m holding on to my gun, Like i hold on to my dick
Ready and wanting to shoot to kill,
Never me be-a-lick
I’m holding on to my gun, like I hold on to my dick
Full hand grip, holding my shit
Never be mark, never be a bitch
I’m holding on to my gun like I hold on to my dick
cause Tears won’t stop falling, I, can’t lose my grip
I, can’t lose control, I, can’t let this go
so, I’m holding on to my gun, like I hold on to my dick
Crying heated anger, fuck a nigga, standing in front of my Kid
Holding on to my gun like i hold on to my dick
i don’t mean my child, I mean the child inside of me
Still can’t, get over that time a nigga made a bitch out of me
So, I’m holding on to my gun like I'm holding on to my dick
Same, way I picked up those scissors,
cause he made a bitch out of me
He called me me a bitch, Held me down and took my shit,
I just saw the pity in her eyes,
as she watched me take that hit
So I’m never letting go, holding my gun,
holding my dick
Same, way I’m holding that anger,
Same way i’m holding my bitch
Same way I like that steel feel,
That steel like my feel,
Same feel as them scissors
Same feel as that dick,
who held me down,
in front of that girl,
then called me a bitch
so I’m holding on to my gun like I’m holding on to my dick
So when it comes time to protect something,
I won’t back down and be a bitch
I’mma slide the gun into that pussy,
same way that pussy slide on my dick
Yea i’m holding on to my gun, same way I hold on to my dick.
Same way I’m holding on to that steel, Same way I held on as a kid
Same way I’m holding on to her look,
When that dick made me a bitch
I be Holding on to my gun, like I hold on to my dick
When I read a book, the better the book, the more comprehensive its grasp of perception, and reality, the more secure its grasp of knowledge, the more I hear within my mind, the soul of the author speaking. The more correlated that book with my own perception, the clearer the soul of the author was revealed to me.

And I have ceased to just simply read. Now I build a world within my mind. Conceptualize every thought, whether conscious or not, and fit it into my model of the world.

And now I have begun to perceive a unique beauty. In the fullness of her eyes, the lines to either side of her nose, formed from a scowl made when intrigued, or otherwise deep in thought. Perception is now to me becoming play, as it should be. And her beautiful black hair, each strand emerging from her scalp like an individual string of thought cast out into the world. I make regular mental inquiry into the thoughts of others, trying to imagine what unique strands of experience form their identity. And her intelligence adds the most subtle glow to her coffee skin. And in my mind, I play with her, and she is a most euphoric, enigmatic poetry.
I stare across the oak brown table,

Into the pool of her iris,
Seemingly wet, as though the stream of her mind feeds them,
And lets them live, capture the light and reflect it back at me.
And so I am illuminated, and day dream comes softly,
Like serene forest poetry,
And I play, running past the tallest tress.
Look up and see a Canopy of Red, glowing from the
Piercing light of the sun.
And I run through the patches of light,
Dashing in out,
Long enough for only a brief moment of warmth,
A swift sweep of heat across my bare back.
And just as swiftly, she emerges into my field of vision,
In a clearing, flowerless, and grassy,
Poised on her toes, upright, as if ready to leap.
Laughing! With a joy on her face that told me she enjoyed the forest too.
And we circle each other, bent into a prowling stance,
Like two cats.
And what seems like moments, passes as hours,
And now under the moonlight, we wrestle,
Hand fighting, eyes feeding on each other, filling each other and living through each other.
Until I land the first nibble, capturing her lower lip, savoring its salty, eerily familiar taste.
And then I catch a pinch of her neck . . .
And then her lips again . . .
And after each blow, she falls increasingly back,
And at the peak of the dance, our graceful combat, time slows.
And she is falling back, and I am with her before she hits the ground.
And then, only then, do we play.
I shudder. I gasp.
I seize up, as if my body wanted to hug itself,
Love itself.
My eyes search: What makes her laugh now?
But the air be between us,
Carrying our thoughts away, so we swim in the eyes,
The eyes are where we play.
Downtown Girl
Rodeo Chick
Left-Hand Legend
Miss soft lips
Really Good at English
Pretty bad at Math
Long List of Ex’s
Miss only adds
Little Lady Shocker
Man Shocker too
Spandex Spooner
Man-Thing Stew
Party Girl
Tons of Fun
Never by her name:
Shannon Strong
Who are you?
I'm scared, I'm honestly so scared. I see what is happening to myself, and the world around me, and I don't know if I'm doing it right. I don't know the world is doing it right. In my head I can come up with a every different alternative to every move, I can see a 10 problems with every news headline. I grew up thinking I was a genius, and have seen myself do too many stupid things to believe it anymore. I saw the world as just waiting to become a heaven on Earth, and I fear most places are closer to hell. Every single thing I do is important; it's important because it has consequences. I choose who I want to be in the world. Last year and the summer felt like the end of a good dream, and this year feels like heartbreak. And I feel like its all important.

I feel lonely.

I feel trapped.

I want the consequences of my life, as an end result to be positive. All these thoughts and feelings surround me everywhere I go, a whole world, like an echo of the chaos of the world we live in. I have an ego that wants to hold the whole world in the crux of its arm. I have heart that skips a beat for every passing face. I feel so PRIVILEGED, and so useless. I feel like the result of a massive sigh, building up all this air inside of me all my life, filling myself up for some big thing, only to realize that I can't hold on to it all, and letting it all out in one large anti-climatic deflation. And then I don't care.

And I remember that no one cares. Or very few do. And I want to care. But I care too much.

And so I write.

And speak.

And laugh. And sing. And dance. And produce. And cry. And scream. I run through the sanctuary, to the park down the roads, and back to where I started.

At school. And there I learn. And when I graduate I'll still be learning. And I remember every time I messed up. And every time I got it right. And when I look back I bet it all won't seem as big as it seems now.

But, for now it seems big. SO, I'm going to stop moping and moaning and do some homework! I'm going to learn to speak Chinese, play the piano, produce a song, write a book, start business. AND CHANGE THE WORLD.

Even if it means I only inspire the person who someday will. :)


WavAngel's Profile Picture
Kali Robinson
Artist | Student | Varied
United States
I dance. I write.
Twitter @KwakuzHaremz


Add a Comment:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2015   Artist

Just wanted to thank you for the fave!

Also, since I'm currently focusing on music, I was wondering if you'd be interested in listening/sharing my music?

If you are, I can link you to where you can find that stuff!

-Dylan Seto
WavAngel Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2016  Student General Artist
np!:D (Big Grin)  and sure link me!
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2016   Artist


Let me know what you think :)

And if you like it, sharing it would be cool too. ;)
LaceyCheshireGrin Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
THX 4 THE FAV!! :woohoo: :hug: :iconiamhappyplz:
WavAngel Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2015  Student General Artist
LaceyCheshireGrin Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Thx again :iconweeeplz:
WavAngel Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2016  Student General Artist
:D (Big Grin) !
(1 Reply)
LaceyCheshireGrin Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
THX 4 THE FAV!! :woohoo: :hug: :iconiamhappyplz:
DamaiMikaz Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Tnx for the fav :la:
LaceyCheshireGrin Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
THX 4 THE LLAMA!!!: woohoo: :hug: :iconiamhappyplz:
Add a Comment: